First, what does that mean, “comfortable in my own skin”? Well, it means I like my own company. I enjoy many aspects of who I am, and seek people, places, and things that support who I am.
Who am I? What does that mean? Well, what’s important to me? What do I need to do so I’m fulfilled and appreciative of my own life? How can I fill myself up with nurturance and love?
The answers to the questions above give me a sense of who I am on the deepest level, and I’m consciously in tune if any part of my knowing is “out of sync”.
What does “out of sync” mean? It means I’m out of balance. Our wholeness depends on the balance we achieve with body, mind, and spirit. If we are constantly thinking, or constantly exercising, or constantly doing, or constantly sleeping, or constantly complaining, or constantly ailing (just to name a few “numbing mechanisms”) then I’m not in sinc.
I have to STOP, breath, and ask myself, “what do I need right now” to feel balanced? I’m the only one who knows, and if I don’t know then chances are I’m not comfortable in my own skin.
Being comfortable in my own skin is the greatest gift I ever gave myself. It translates to having a voice, to self-empowerment, to acceptance, to setting boundaries, to being tuned in to what doesn’t “feel right”.
Here’s the key to knowing ourselves: “Learning to feel our feelings”. We are taught as a culture to “not feel”; unless, of course, “it feels good”. We are taught to “swallow our feelings” because having feelings is a weakness, It translates to being “over-sensitive” with a negative twist.
Most of us wouldn’t know a feeling if it bit us on the nose. Feelings are scary because often times they are not good, and “I don’t want to subject myself to not feeling good, so I will numb”.
The numbing becomes our way of coping, and we get further and further away from our authentic self, the one in whose skin we want to feel comfortable, ME.
So how can I feel comfortable with someone from whom I’m numbing?
It’s all part of the internal journey of using new “awareness muscles” to be a participant in my own self-discovery. Feelings are the barometer of the soul, and they are always right if they are not being filtered through past, present, and future projections.
That’s another story to come.